Tips to ensure your kids are staying safe in the Cyber-World…

By Lynette Owens, founder and director of outreach for Trend Micro’s Internet Safety for Kids and Families program

As this holiday season officially kicks off, shopping is in full force for most of us parents. This is the right time to ask ourselves, “Are my kids ready for the latest tech toys that they will undoubtedly be asking for this year?” While most kids know the fun side of tech toys, they are not always aware of the responsibilities and risks associated with them.

As a high-tech mom of two and the head of Trend Micro’s Internet Safety for Kids & Families program, I’ve put together some tips to help you make sure your kids are using these tech toys wisely and safely. Along with their new technical abilities, we need to teach them how to be responsible, gadget-owning citizens.

Some ways to approach the basic question, “are they ready?”

If your kid wants a cell phone or a smartphone, consider this:

• Determine first what they will use it for and when, where and with whom. If this is their first phone, it might be best to limit calls to you as parents, only. There are phones that are designed only to call select numbers – mom and dad buttons but nobody else.

• For older kids who want more freedom, think about whether you want them to receive and make calls to anyone they want. One way to limit open access it to consider family plans that offer number limits.

• Ask yourself honestly, “do your kids need Internet access or text messaging on their phone?” These extras can not only be costly, but can also open up opportunities to come across things they may not be ready for online. Consider phone plans that exclude or limit these offerings.

• If you allow your kids to have Internet access on their phone, consider adding a filtering service that blocks inappropriate content.

• Many phones have cameras. While fun to have, there are risks. Talk to your kid about what is and isn’t appropriate when using their camera phone. Let them know that if they take pictures they’d be embarrassed to show you or their teachers, then the pictures should NOT be taken. Inform them that some pictures could even be illegal (child pornography is a felony, after all). Also, be sure to tell them that if they receive inappropriate images on their phone, they should tell you immediately so you can report it to other parents or teachers, depending on the situation.

If your kid wants a video game console, remember:

• Keep it in a common area where you can supervise what is on the screen and set usage time limits.

• Be sure to check recommended age-ratings on the box as a guide to whether a child, kid or teen should be playing certain games. Like movies, video games have age-ratings. Also, the consoles have settings to prevent age-inappropriate games on the device, so be sure to take advantage of those and turn them on!

• If the game consoles in your home can connect to the Internet, consider either blocking Internet access, or turn on the filtering setting.

• If your kids are into social networking gaming, again keep it where you can see it. Let your child or teen know that while their use of it is harmless, other players can lie about who they are, their age, gender and where they live. Therefore, you need to remind them to NEVER to meet a stranger in person.

If your kid wants a new computer or any other gadget that connects to the Internet, some tips to remember:

• If you allow your kids to get online, supervise their online time. Keep the PC, gaming device, or mobile device in a place where you can check in on them and set limits on their time online.

• Get to know the sites your kids are using or want to use on the Internet. If they are old enough to be using it, ask yourself who else might be using the site.

• Some sites require registration, which requires personal information. Therefore, it is important to know what the sites your kids are visiting and what each site’s security and privacy policies are.

• The rules for being a good citizen offline also apply online: Talk to your kids about treating people with respect and the importance of keeping private information private. Remind them not to talk to strangers and that they should always report any odd or suspicious behavior to you, whether online or offline. I’ve found that a great way for us as parents to teach our kids safe online habits is to model these habits ourselves as an example to our children.
  Some of the most reputable security software can help block websites based on kids ages. However, even with filters, kids may still innocently click on or download something they never intended to, such as a virus or spyware. Bottom line: use security software and keep it up-to-date.

Most important, stay involved and stay educated!

Internet safety topics and issues change with new websites and new laws. New issues will continue to grow as new technologies arrive and as kids grow up. Making Internet safety a priority for the family means being an active participant in it.

About The Author

Lynette T. Owens is Director of Corporate Outreach for Trend Micro’s Internet Safety for Kids and Families (ISKF) program. Lynette founded the ISKF program to help deliver on the company’s vision of making a world safe for the exchange of digital information. Ms. Owens is the author of Trend Micro’s ISKF blog, which covers several topics related to Internet safety for kids and families, and is a strong advocate for youth and the importance of their role in helping to educate as much as be educated. In early 2010, she helped launch the company’s first annual Internet safety video competition, named “What’s Your Story?”, showcasing the voice of youth on a wide-range of topics related to their internet safety.

Lynette spends most her time helping to raise awareness and educate the public on the issues of internet safety for kids, recruiting employee volunteers to get involved or volunteering her own time in her community. She devotes the rest of the time to her own kids and husband, and with any remaining minutes, loves to travel with her husband, discover new music, and spend time with friends and family around the world.

Whenever a child is missing and foul play suspected, stepmothers collectively breathe a sigh of concern, hoping that a stepmother is not involved. They worry that both the media and everyone else will immediately go to the default stereotype that stepmothers are evil and wicked, and responsible for the child’s disappearance.

The stereotype that stepmothers are wicked has existed for thousands of years, popularized by “Cinderella,” and “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,” fairy tales collected by the Grimm brothers. These folktales serve a greater function than merely entertain children; they reinforce the moral lessons that a society wants its members to learn. Unfortunately, the message that stepmothers are “the bad guys” still persists in the 21st century, despite the fact that there are approximately 15 million stepmothers with stepchildren under the age of 18 in the U.S. When adult children are included in these estimates, there may be as many as 36 million stepmothers. How can so many women be wicked?

Stepmothers come in all shapes and sizes, with different personalities. The vast majority of whom are loving, kind, and compassionate to their stepchildren yet the stereotype still persists. And, stereotypes matter. Unconsciously, they oftentimes influence us to hold beliefs and make decisions based on inaccurate information. If people believe stepmothers are wicked, they will treat them poorly. Too many stepmothers end up exhausted by, and depressed from trying to repair their misimpression others have of them. Here are a few tips to overcome the stepmother stereotype:

1. Focus on the young: The stepmother stereotype is inculcated in small children from the moment they can understand the stories being read to them. One way to overcome the stigma associated with stepmothers is if parents would take the time after reading Cinderella to their children to explain to them that most stepmothers are loving and kind. Even though Cinderella’s stepmother was cruel, not all stepmothers are bad. Parents might then give their children some examples of good stepmothers whom their children know to contrast Cinderella’s wicked one. This would balance out the negative image to a more neutral one.

2. Self examination: Do you perceive stepmothers in a negative light? Try an experiment to find out if you see stepmothers negatively by becoming conscious of the times you think of one. Are the adjectives you use negative (such as wicked, evil, mean, horrid), or positive (such as loving or kind)? If you are like most people, you will notice that you think of stepmothers negatively. What you think has a tremendous influence on your behavior and beliefs. By changing your negative view of stepmothers to either a positive one or a neutral one, you ensure that you do not prejudge stepmothers unfairly. Rather, you treat them fairly, something we all deserve.

3. Stop offensive stepmother remarks: It’s inappropriate for anyone to use a derogatory term for a member of any ethnic group. Jokes that poke fun at certain races or nationalities may seem harmless, but they covertly reinforce stereotypes that compartmentalize, and inaccurately define, who a person may be. This is true for stepmothers as well, so don’t allow others to use derogatory adjectives when describing stepmothers in your presence. Tolerating contemptuous and ignorant remarks about stepmothers is unacceptable, and can damage their self-esteem, even when the thoughts are expressed as a form of humor or endearment. You might consider saying, “I know you don’t mean any harm, but that comment is offensive to me because it perpetuates a stereotype about stepmothers.”

4. Eliminate over-functioning by stepmothers: Indoctrinated by the same cultural stigma as everyone else, many stepmothers try to compensate for the “wicked stepmother” stereotype by over-functioning. They take on greater responsibilities in their stepfamilies to make up for any deficiencies others may perceive. They work hard to prove that they are different, that negative stereotypes do not apply to them. When any of us try too hard to overcome a label attributed to us, we tend to become anxious which interferes with our efforts to succeed. In fact, they may even serve to perpetuate these stereotypes. Instead of wasting time and energy trying to prove to family members and friends they are kind and loving, stepmothers should breathe deeply, relax, and focus on accepting they are “good enough” exactly as they are.

5. Stand tall, stepmothers: To avoid being judged and criticized by others, too many stepmothers try to be invisible, and won’t share their frustrations with this most challenging role to family and friends. They end up feeling isolated and lonely even when surrounded by others. Stepmothers have nothing to be ashamed of. Their struggles are not personal; they are endemic to stepfamilies from the effects of divorce, and the insidious nature of the stepmother stereotype. Stepmothers can be helped by reaching out to others who are going through something similar by joining a stepmother support group, either in one’s community or online. Peer support groups provide guidance and encouragement to stepmothers, as well as serve another important function. They can be part of the process to overcome the stepmother stereotype. When stepmothers help each other improve their self-esteem, they can recognize and embrace their contribution to their stepfamilies. their pride can counteract the negativity of the stepmother stereotype. A collective voice is more powerful than a silent one, and can accomplish major changes.

Many other groups have succeeded to overcome the unfair stereotype attributed to them. Let’s all work together to finally banish the stepmother stereotype!

About The Author

Rachelle Katz, Ed.D. is a psychotherapist with 25 years in private practice in New York City. She is the author of The Happy Stepmother, self-help guide for stepmothers. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist as well as an addictions specialist, certified in alcoholism and substance abuse counseling. She received her B.A. in Psychology from Clark University, her M.Ed. in Counseling Psychology from Boston College, her M.A. in Clinical Psychology from the New School for Social Research, and her doctorate in Family and Community Education from Teachers College, Columbia University. She is a member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, the American Psychological Association and the American Counseling Association.

Since May 2004, Rachelle owns and moderates www.stepsforstepmothers.com, a website designed for stepmothers to provide support, advice, and encouragement to each other. She also leads a monthly support group for stepmothers in New York City. She has been married for 19 years, and has a 23-year-old stepdaughter.

By Sandby Sandler

It’s summer and the kids are excited, no school… you’re a bit overwhelmed thinking how am I ever going to keep them busy and out of trouble? Of course there are sports, video games, hikes, but the weather isn’t always cooperative and there are 24 hours in each of those three months of summer.

A great activity for summertime is crafts. Crafts are great, not only because they are fun and can be very inexpensive, but craft projects have been proven time and again to be one of the best activities for quality interaction between parents and children. Crafting is a great way to stimulate your children’s imagination while spending some great family time. If you have never tried crafting with your family, then you will be proud by how readily your children take to these creative projects.

Many of the major craft stores have great summer craft classes and most of them are free. Check with local stores, community recreation centers and other parenting resources to discover what is available.

Here are just a few of the numerous benefits that your children will take away from your crafting time together:

1. Increased Self Esteem: Children develop self-esteem and pride from working on projects with their “adult” helpers.
2. A Boost in Creativity: Craft projects develop creativity, along with the ability to think and problem solve. Kids will dream up new thoughts, ideas and even methods of creating original projects.
3. Develop Patience and Perseverance: Craft projects teach persistence and the ability to systematically and logically work a project through to completion. There are all skills that will prove invaluable later in life!
4. Making Memories: Most importantly, family crafting is amazing fun. Your time spent crafting with your children will create priceless family time and memories.

On the topic of making memories, there are many great summertime family craft projects you can do with your children to preserve summer memories.

A few great ideas for preserving your summer memories include:

1. Collecting: Save everything, ticket stubs, cards from restaurants you visit, the brochure from a museum, and of course, some pictures from your trip. A favorite project for me is to take these collected items, decopage them onto a board and then make a picture frame using anything from wine corks, to sea shells, or even decopaged mat board. This has an eco-element to crafting too teaching kids to creatively reuse and repurpose seemingly throw away items. Consider giving each child a page in the scrapbook with their designs that depict their summer vacation….think Picasso…it doesn’t have to look like what is depicts!
2. Journal Activities: Have your children journal about their summer days. If they are too young to journal themselves, you can have them tell you about their day and you can write it for them. They can also add photos or drawings to illustrate their day.
3. Go on a Nature Walk: You can take photos or draw pictures of the beauty you see. Then you can do everything from making scrapbook pictures to making birthday and thank you cards to keep on hand.
4. Make a Family summer Vacation Scrapbook: Give each child a page in the scrapbook with their designs that depict their summer vacation….think Picasso.. it doesn’t have to look like what is depicts!
5. Make a Family Time Capsule: This is a tried and true memory preservation idea. You can use most anything as the “capsule.” Even an old shoe box can work. Have each member of the family choose something to put in the capsule. It can be a journal, a DVD, photos, a toy, or other items. Also, have everyone write a note or draw a picture and put it in the capsule. Then let your children tape and decorate the box so it will be until the determined opening date! Finally put it away in the back of a closet, the attic or even bury it in the back yard.

As you begin to craft and create regularly you will see that your children will grow more confident with their own creativity. They will look forward to spending this special time with the family. The best benefit is that you will be making new memories as you are preserving old ones!

About the Author:

Sandy Sandler is founder of non-profit Crafters 4 Kids and creator of the QVC best-seller, the Bowdabra. Her frugal craft projects and activity ideas are designed to transform the creatively-challenged into creative pros. Sandy’s focus is on creative and easy projects that parents can do with their kids and that kids can even do on their own that are both frugal and green in nature. Crafters 4 Kids focuses on projects that can be done under 5 minutes and under $5. Visit www.C4K555.org. Contact Sandy at jaimevivre@mac.com.

by

Emma Jenner, child development, sleep and behavioral specialist

Founder, Emma’s Children www.emmaschildren.com

1. All children regardless of age must have their own passport. For further information go to http://travel.state.gov/passport/get/minors/minors_834.html
2. If someone other than the biological parents is traveling with a child they must carry a letter of authorization from the parents. This should state that you (the parents) give named person permission to travel with your child (child’s name) in and out of specified countries. Include a contact number where you can be reached at all times in the case of an emergency or any potential complications.
3. Check for vaccinations that may be required for the country to which you’re traveling. Remember to take the vaccination certificates with you to prevent refusal of entry upon arrival.
4. Buy a comprehensive health insurance plan that will cover everyone in your travel party whilst abroad in case of an emergency.
5. If you have any concerns about your child’s health (ear ache, sore throat) you should consult with Doctor before traveling. Children cannot travel with contagious diseases, for example: Chicken Pox.
6. If your child requires formula be sure to check with your airline and airport about their security regulations as each vary. Depending on their regulations in regards to taking milk through security you may need to take powered formula and buy bottled water once you’re through security.
7. Children over the age of two are required to have their own seat. Instead of traveling with bulky car seats there are now FAA approved harness style safety devices for children 22-44lbs.

Keeping your child happy and comfortable on the plane, please follow the tip that’s age appropriate for your child:

-Remember your child’s comfort blanket or favorite soft toy. Take an extra blanket, as it can get chilly.

-Buy new reading books, coloring books (Color Wonder is great) and toys that your child hasn’t seen. This will keep their interest longer and prevent them from getting bored.

- A Personal DVD player is a blessing to resort to when your child is beyond entertaining. The ‘Leapster’ by Leap Frog along with educational games is also a wonderful source of entertainment. For your fellow passengers please don’t forget headphones.

-The pressure during take-off and landing can really hurt a child’s ears, depending on the age make sure you have a drink or lollypop on hand. Sucking helps relieve the pressure.

-Always bring change of clothes incase of spills or an accident and if you have room throw in a spare top for yourself especially if traveling with a young baby.

-Ensure you have enough supplies; diapers, wipes, sippy cups or bottles. Bring plenty of snacks and or formula.

-Carry on Tylenol or Motrin (must be under 3.4oz/100ml), for the unexpected fever or teething pains etc.

-Understand it’s a lot to expect a child to sit still for any length of time. Allow them to stretch their legs by walking up and down the isle. This can also calm and soothe an unhappy younger child or baby.

Wishing you safe and happy travels!

About The Author

Emma Jenner, a child development and behavioral specialist, was raised in Oxford, England until the age of 12 then proceeded to live in various parts of the world including Germany and Cyprus before returning to England where she specialized in childcare at Salisbury College.

Emma first worked as a nursery school teacher. Her love of children, of all ages, led her to a career as a professional nanny and baby nurse for over a decade. During this time, Emma worked with a variety of high profile and celebrity families. An entrepreneur, Emma founded a sleep consulting business and a nanny-training academy in the Los Angeles area. She was also the star of the popular TLC series Take Home Nanny, where she worked closely with parents to give them the tools necessary to allow them to regain control of family chaos.

With an abundance of experience and proficiency in raising children and with a specialization in sleep training, Emma has recently launched Emma’s Children, a consulting service whose goal is to provide parents the tools they need to take care of their most valuable asset.

A fun-loving, busy individual, Emma believes in raising children with a firm, disciplined, yet loving and nurturing approach — one that insists on good manners and respect to and from all family members. She strives in her work to create harmony in the home by helping parents maintain a loving and nurturing environment.  Emma’s expertise has been broadcast on syndicated radio show as well as several parenting magazines.