By Lynette Owens, founder and director of outreach for Trend Micro’s Internet Safety for Kids and Families program

As this holiday season officially kicks off, shopping is in full force for most of us parents. This is the right time to ask ourselves, “Are my kids ready for the latest tech toys that they will undoubtedly be asking for this year?” While most kids know the fun side of tech toys, they are not always aware of the responsibilities and risks associated with them.

As a high-tech mom of two and the head of Trend Micro’s Internet Safety for Kids & Families program, I’ve put together some tips to help you make sure your kids are using these tech toys wisely and safely. Along with their new technical abilities, we need to teach them how to be responsible, gadget-owning citizens.

Some ways to approach the basic question, “are they ready?”

If your kid wants a cell phone or a smartphone, consider this:

• Determine first what they will use it for and when, where and with whom. If this is their first phone, it might be best to limit calls to you as parents, only. There are phones that are designed only to call select numbers – mom and dad buttons but nobody else.

• For older kids who want more freedom, think about whether you want them to receive and make calls to anyone they want. One way to limit open access it to consider family plans that offer number limits.

• Ask yourself honestly, “do your kids need Internet access or text messaging on their phone?” These extras can not only be costly, but can also open up opportunities to come across things they may not be ready for online. Consider phone plans that exclude or limit these offerings.

• If you allow your kids to have Internet access on their phone, consider adding a filtering service that blocks inappropriate content.

• Many phones have cameras. While fun to have, there are risks. Talk to your kid about what is and isn’t appropriate when using their camera phone. Let them know that if they take pictures they’d be embarrassed to show you or their teachers, then the pictures should NOT be taken. Inform them that some pictures could even be illegal (child pornography is a felony, after all). Also, be sure to tell them that if they receive inappropriate images on their phone, they should tell you immediately so you can report it to other parents or teachers, depending on the situation.

If your kid wants a video game console, remember:

• Keep it in a common area where you can supervise what is on the screen and set usage time limits.

• Be sure to check recommended age-ratings on the box as a guide to whether a child, kid or teen should be playing certain games. Like movies, video games have age-ratings. Also, the consoles have settings to prevent age-inappropriate games on the device, so be sure to take advantage of those and turn them on!

• If the game consoles in your home can connect to the Internet, consider either blocking Internet access, or turn on the filtering setting.

• If your kids are into social networking gaming, again keep it where you can see it. Let your child or teen know that while their use of it is harmless, other players can lie about who they are, their age, gender and where they live. Therefore, you need to remind them to NEVER to meet a stranger in person.

If your kid wants a new computer or any other gadget that connects to the Internet, some tips to remember:

• If you allow your kids to get online, supervise their online time. Keep the PC, gaming device, or mobile device in a place where you can check in on them and set limits on their time online.

• Get to know the sites your kids are using or want to use on the Internet. If they are old enough to be using it, ask yourself who else might be using the site.

• Some sites require registration, which requires personal information. Therefore, it is important to know what the sites your kids are visiting and what each site’s security and privacy policies are.

• The rules for being a good citizen offline also apply online: Talk to your kids about treating people with respect and the importance of keeping private information private. Remind them not to talk to strangers and that they should always report any odd or suspicious behavior to you, whether online or offline. I’ve found that a great way for us as parents to teach our kids safe online habits is to model these habits ourselves as an example to our children.
  Some of the most reputable security software can help block websites based on kids ages. However, even with filters, kids may still innocently click on or download something they never intended to, such as a virus or spyware. Bottom line: use security software and keep it up-to-date.

Most important, stay involved and stay educated!

Internet safety topics and issues change with new websites and new laws. New issues will continue to grow as new technologies arrive and as kids grow up. Making Internet safety a priority for the family means being an active participant in it.

About The Author

Lynette T. Owens is Director of Corporate Outreach for Trend Micro’s Internet Safety for Kids and Families (ISKF) program. Lynette founded the ISKF program to help deliver on the company’s vision of making a world safe for the exchange of digital information. Ms. Owens is the author of Trend Micro’s ISKF blog, which covers several topics related to Internet safety for kids and families, and is a strong advocate for youth and the importance of their role in helping to educate as much as be educated. In early 2010, she helped launch the company’s first annual Internet safety video competition, named “What’s Your Story?”, showcasing the voice of youth on a wide-range of topics related to their internet safety.

Lynette spends most her time helping to raise awareness and educate the public on the issues of internet safety for kids, recruiting employee volunteers to get involved or volunteering her own time in her community. She devotes the rest of the time to her own kids and husband, and with any remaining minutes, loves to travel with her husband, discover new music, and spend time with friends and family around the world.

When children lash out in anger after not getting their way, parents typically respond with a stern reprimand and treat their child’s outburst as “wrong” or negative. Or, a parent might succumb to his child’s bad behavior by letting her do as she pleases. According to Dr. Fran Walfish, the leading Beverly Hills child and family psychotherapist whose caring approach and innovative strategies have placed her at the forefront of her profession, “Most children lose their connection to their parents during episodes of anger. This breakdown causes children to keep secrets and hide things from their parents, ultimately creating pathways to later issues including lying, drug and alcohol use, and more.”

Dr. Fran’s Parenting in 3-D methodology, which has been a transformative force in the lives of parents for the better part of two decades, provides a powerful solution for dealing with your child’s anger in a way that builds self-esteem and creates a healthy expression of all emotions at an early age.

“When parents can acknowledge, invite, and openly validate angry feelings, their child becomes calm and feels accepted,” Dr. Fran adds. “This acceptance is what builds the child’s evolving self-esteem and is a prerequisite for all good relationships with peers, teachers, employers, spouses, and you, their parents.”

Next time your child lashes out in anger, Dr. Fran strongly urges putting into practice her Parenting in 3-D formula:

Discard the DEFENSIVE. Every parent wants to be both loved and liked by their child. Parents should understand that your child will sometimes be mad at you or reject you altogether (especially when you are asking them to stop a behavior or do something they would rather not do).This behavior is a necessary part of claiming themselves as a separate being with individual wants and wishes. Don’t undermine the boundaries you attempt to create by being defensive or giving in. Instead, take a deep breath (or two) and think before speaking.

DEMONSTRATE empathy with words. In the midst of a tantrum or other exaggerated behavior, many parents refuse to accept the episode, and ignore it by stepping away until the child is ready to behave. As a result, your child may think his/her feelings are not accepted. Instead, acknowledge to your child that you understand he is disappointed and upset, and narrate verbally what your child is feeling. Say with warmth and sincerity, “I see you are angry with me, and I’m the kind of mom who really wants to hear about it right to my face. Tell me about how mad you are at me.” Also address your child’s response with empathy. For instance, with a three-year-old, you might say, “Mommy sees you are disappointed. You want more play time and now it’s bath time. You got angry at Mommy. It’s hard to stop when you want more.” Being a container for your child’s anger will help him/her view you as a person that they can confide in. It also establishes your place as a stable figure, one who will not attack, run or collapse when the going gets rough. This is very important to convey to your child as she grows and faces larger issues.

DIRECTIVE-DISCIPLINE with boundaries. Talking through a situation allows your child to feel heard. However, once he understands that you acknowledge and accept his displeasure, set the boundary and follow-through by taking action and “directing” (i.e. moving your child toward his responsibility, or your command). In this case, simply walk him into the bathroom and help him into the tub. Do not over-indulge him with gadgets and gifts to compensate for his struggles.

According to Dr. Fran, being a good parent requires two things to happen together: loving/nurturing your child, and at the same time, setting/holding boundaries. To love your child is only half the job; children need firm boundaries, too.

About The Author

A frequent guest on top-tier TV programs, including NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams and KABC-TV in Los Angeles, and often appearing in major national publications such as Parents Magazine, Family Circle and Woman’s Day, Dr. Fran continues to lead the field with her expert insights and innovative strategies for parents, children and couples.

Her upcoming book, The Self-Aware Parent: Resolving Conflict and Building a Better Bond with Your Child from Palgrave Macmillan/St. Martin’s Press, is scheduled to launch December 7, 2010. Visit her on the Web at www.DrFranWalfish.com.

Whenever a child is missing and foul play suspected, stepmothers collectively breathe a sigh of concern, hoping that a stepmother is not involved. They worry that both the media and everyone else will immediately go to the default stereotype that stepmothers are evil and wicked, and responsible for the child’s disappearance.

The stereotype that stepmothers are wicked has existed for thousands of years, popularized by “Cinderella,” and “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,” fairy tales collected by the Grimm brothers. These folktales serve a greater function than merely entertain children; they reinforce the moral lessons that a society wants its members to learn. Unfortunately, the message that stepmothers are “the bad guys” still persists in the 21st century, despite the fact that there are approximately 15 million stepmothers with stepchildren under the age of 18 in the U.S. When adult children are included in these estimates, there may be as many as 36 million stepmothers. How can so many women be wicked?

Stepmothers come in all shapes and sizes, with different personalities. The vast majority of whom are loving, kind, and compassionate to their stepchildren yet the stereotype still persists. And, stereotypes matter. Unconsciously, they oftentimes influence us to hold beliefs and make decisions based on inaccurate information. If people believe stepmothers are wicked, they will treat them poorly. Too many stepmothers end up exhausted by, and depressed from trying to repair their misimpression others have of them. Here are a few tips to overcome the stepmother stereotype:

1. Focus on the young: The stepmother stereotype is inculcated in small children from the moment they can understand the stories being read to them. One way to overcome the stigma associated with stepmothers is if parents would take the time after reading Cinderella to their children to explain to them that most stepmothers are loving and kind. Even though Cinderella’s stepmother was cruel, not all stepmothers are bad. Parents might then give their children some examples of good stepmothers whom their children know to contrast Cinderella’s wicked one. This would balance out the negative image to a more neutral one.

2. Self examination: Do you perceive stepmothers in a negative light? Try an experiment to find out if you see stepmothers negatively by becoming conscious of the times you think of one. Are the adjectives you use negative (such as wicked, evil, mean, horrid), or positive (such as loving or kind)? If you are like most people, you will notice that you think of stepmothers negatively. What you think has a tremendous influence on your behavior and beliefs. By changing your negative view of stepmothers to either a positive one or a neutral one, you ensure that you do not prejudge stepmothers unfairly. Rather, you treat them fairly, something we all deserve.

3. Stop offensive stepmother remarks: It’s inappropriate for anyone to use a derogatory term for a member of any ethnic group. Jokes that poke fun at certain races or nationalities may seem harmless, but they covertly reinforce stereotypes that compartmentalize, and inaccurately define, who a person may be. This is true for stepmothers as well, so don’t allow others to use derogatory adjectives when describing stepmothers in your presence. Tolerating contemptuous and ignorant remarks about stepmothers is unacceptable, and can damage their self-esteem, even when the thoughts are expressed as a form of humor or endearment. You might consider saying, “I know you don’t mean any harm, but that comment is offensive to me because it perpetuates a stereotype about stepmothers.”

4. Eliminate over-functioning by stepmothers: Indoctrinated by the same cultural stigma as everyone else, many stepmothers try to compensate for the “wicked stepmother” stereotype by over-functioning. They take on greater responsibilities in their stepfamilies to make up for any deficiencies others may perceive. They work hard to prove that they are different, that negative stereotypes do not apply to them. When any of us try too hard to overcome a label attributed to us, we tend to become anxious which interferes with our efforts to succeed. In fact, they may even serve to perpetuate these stereotypes. Instead of wasting time and energy trying to prove to family members and friends they are kind and loving, stepmothers should breathe deeply, relax, and focus on accepting they are “good enough” exactly as they are.

5. Stand tall, stepmothers: To avoid being judged and criticized by others, too many stepmothers try to be invisible, and won’t share their frustrations with this most challenging role to family and friends. They end up feeling isolated and lonely even when surrounded by others. Stepmothers have nothing to be ashamed of. Their struggles are not personal; they are endemic to stepfamilies from the effects of divorce, and the insidious nature of the stepmother stereotype. Stepmothers can be helped by reaching out to others who are going through something similar by joining a stepmother support group, either in one’s community or online. Peer support groups provide guidance and encouragement to stepmothers, as well as serve another important function. They can be part of the process to overcome the stepmother stereotype. When stepmothers help each other improve their self-esteem, they can recognize and embrace their contribution to their stepfamilies. their pride can counteract the negativity of the stepmother stereotype. A collective voice is more powerful than a silent one, and can accomplish major changes.

Many other groups have succeeded to overcome the unfair stereotype attributed to them. Let’s all work together to finally banish the stepmother stereotype!

About The Author

Rachelle Katz, Ed.D. is a psychotherapist with 25 years in private practice in New York City. She is the author of The Happy Stepmother, self-help guide for stepmothers. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist as well as an addictions specialist, certified in alcoholism and substance abuse counseling. She received her B.A. in Psychology from Clark University, her M.Ed. in Counseling Psychology from Boston College, her M.A. in Clinical Psychology from the New School for Social Research, and her doctorate in Family and Community Education from Teachers College, Columbia University. She is a member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, the American Psychological Association and the American Counseling Association.

Since May 2004, Rachelle owns and moderates www.stepsforstepmothers.com, a website designed for stepmothers to provide support, advice, and encouragement to each other. She also leads a monthly support group for stepmothers in New York City. She has been married for 19 years, and has a 23-year-old stepdaughter.

All kids can grow up to be confident, competent, and caring IF they

1) have caring relationships that convey positive expectations, and

2) are given opportunities for meaningful participation.

Expectations that are too high set parents up for disappointment and set kids up for discouragement and failure. Kids think, “I’m inadequate; something’s wrong with me.” This is one of the reasons perfectionism is so harmful.

Expectations that are too low tell our children that we do not believe in them. Children learn not to believe in themselves. They feel discouraged and probably won’t even try to achieve. I remember hearing many times as a young girl, “You can’t play baseball; you’re just a girl.” I was so disheartened that I gave up sports completely.

Expectations that are “just right” show kids that their parents believe in them. Positive, encouraging words inspire kids to “do the right thing” and help them succeed. Positive expectations can, in fact, be like an insurance policy against the “bad stuff” and serve to bring out the best in our kids. “Just right” expectations are those that are appropriate for our children’s ages and abilities.

A teacher at my church told me about growing up in a large, poor family with his wonderful grandmother. When he was about eight years old, his grandma looked him in the eyes, put her hands on his shoulders, and said, “You’re going to be somebody!” That statement put him on the path to becoming a devoted teacher for inner-city high school youth.

When we believe in kids and want good things for them, our words can uplift and inspire them.
I know this to be true because it happened in my family. I always believed that my three children were wonderful. Once in awhile I’d say, “Someday you’ll grow up to be a wonderful woman/man.” Decades later, I’m amazed and thrilled that they, indeed, are wonderful adults living good and satisfying lives. And I am grateful.

Maintain high yet attainable expectations for yourself and your children, and cheer each other on. Always remember to celebrate your successes. The long-term benefits will astound you!

Sign up for her free Positive Parenting Newsletter at http://www.drlouisehart.com.

Louise Hart is a community educator, and author of two books. The Winning Family and On the Wings of Self-Esteem have been translated into half a dozen languages.  A professional speaker, she currently teaches Positive Psychology as it applies to parenting. Dr. Hart has a Doctorate of Education in Community Psychology, which deals with the relationships of the individual to family, communities and the wider society.

Copyright 2010 Dr. Louise Hart is a Community Psychologist, author, and Grandmother.

In a society that claims that we are “all created equal,” some folks have a hard time with differences, especially when others seem naturally better or better off than they are. There is a tendency to put down people who stand out in a crowd, achieve more, and are rewarded more-a desire to “bring the stars back down to earth” as it were. In Australia there is an expression for this practice: “cutting down the tall poppies.”

Children who are gifted and talented have to deal with poppy-cutters early in life. During middle school in particular, kids desperately want to feel ‘normal.’ They want to feel like they belong, and being different, smarter, or better in any way can feel to them like a disadvantage. Jeffrey did not want to boast about his high grades and he actually hid them from his friends. “It’s not cool to be really smart,” said Suzanna, “especially for girls.” She added, “but I don’t care,” with a tone of resignation about the anti-intellectual attitudes she had to battle every day.

It’s a sad situation when kids (or adults) are made to feel ashamed of their gifts. Discover how your child feels about being different, or about being around people who are different from him. Encourage him to feel secure about his differences. Teach him to separate cultural messages from his own self-worth.

Here are some strategies for protecting self-esteem that you can use and teach to your kids:

• Inquire. If someone insults you, ask “Is something wrong?” or “What do you mean by that?” This puts the responsibility back on the insult-giver and gives them the opportunity to express and clarify themselves.

• Confront. No one needs to “grin and bear it” or be martyr. If a put-down hurts, simply say, “Ouch,” and stand your ground. Letting the insult-giver know you have feelings might make him or her think twice about being mean.

• Withdraw. We don’t want to be around people who are nasty or cruel. It’s smart to get out of harm’s way; it might even save your life. But don’t get in the habit of running away from your problems.

• Consider the Source. Some people seem to wallow in negativity. Let them express whatever emotions they choose, remembering that those opinions have little or nothing to do with you.

• Don’t take it personally. People cut poppies to make themselves feel better, or at least better than you. Instead of reacting, you might try to figure out what’s underneath the barb. The put-down may have absolutely nothing to do with you!

• Humor. Many bright people have discovered that making others laugh is a good way to win them over. It’s also a wonderful skill for defusing tension. When teased about her coke-bottle glasses, for example, Helen would cheerfully reply, “Well, four eyes are better than none!” It always helps to think of a comeback before you need it so you don’t feel put on the spot.

• Make a Neutral Remark. When they finish their hurtful comment say, “Oh,” or “I see,” and leave it at that.

• Disagree. If someone called you a green kangaroo, would it hurt your feelings? Of course not, because you know that it isn’t true. What others say about you is just their opinion. You know the truth about yourself.

• Sift Through. There may be a grain of truth in what they’re saying, but they haven’t learned how to tactfully give you helpful feedback. For example, if someone calls you “slow poke,” explore that some more. You might actually need to speed things up a bit.

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If an insult gets to you, don’t dwell on it. Try the following:

• Talk to a Friend. Find someone who is a good listener. Talking about it can help you think it through; it can also help you get perspective and release negative feelings. That’s one reason people go to counselors and therapists.

• Use Positive Self-Talk. Repeat this phrase to yourself over and over: “No matter what you say or do to me, I am a worthwhile person.”

• Give Yourself a Hug. Give one to your child. Hugs are great for a send-off in the morning, a welcome home later on, or an affectionate goodnight ritual. Life goes better with hugs! Use your imagination to support yourself:

• Wear a Shield. Imagine yourself wrapped in an invisible bubble of protection or white light. Negativity that comes your way will bounce right off.

• “Wax Your Back.” Each morning, pretend to coat yourself with wax or Teflon so insults and negativity slide off you like water off a duck’s back.

• Talismans. A piece of jewelry or a “lucky” garment that has special meaning to you can be a source of personal strength and power. (Super heroes do this all the time.)

• Permission to Be Different. Teach your kids that there is no one like them in the whole world. They are unique and they should be proud of that. This attitude can help them deal with pressure to conform. Give them permission to be who they really are.

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Try these strategies and come up with new ones to protect self-esteem. You can even combine strategies. You don’t have to put up with put-downs. Practice the strategies with your children.

Above all else, increase the number of positive interactions you have, as well as the number of supportive people with whom you surround yourself. Bolster your self-esteem and self-worth on a daily basis. Just as enhancing the immune system can increase health and protect you from illness, enhancing self-esteem can increase well-being and protect you from social problems.

If all kids and parents could discover their abilities and find ways to express their gifts, the whole poppy field might stand a little taller and be more beautiful than ever!

Sign up for her free Positive Parenting Newsletter at http://www.drlouisehart.com.

Louise Hart is a community educator, and author of two books. The Winning Family and On the Wings of Self-Esteem have been translated into half a dozen languages. A professional speaker, she currently teaches Positive Psychology as it applies to parenting. Dr. Hart has a Doctorate of Education in Community Psychology, which deals with the relationships of the individual to family, communities and the wider society.

Copyright 2010 Dr. Louise Hart is a Community Psychologist, author, and Grandmother.

My mother was the oldest of thirteen siblings living in difficult circumstances in Germany. She had too many responsibilities too early in life, and her busy parents were unable to meet some of her most important needs. Many years later, while she was raising five children of her own in America, she talked about how much she had always missed the love of her own mother. “How can I love when I never was loved?” And the pattern repeated.

As a young girl, I missed her love and warmth, and recoiled against her harsh parenting style. I vowed that I would raise my children differently. Doing better for my own children became my life’s mission. I had to unlearn what I didn’t want, and figure out how to become a loving, positive, and playful mom.

If there were negative patterns in your family-perhaps involving addictions, abuse or neglect-you can do better for your kids. Old childhood wounds propel you to do better for your own children. Instead of repeating the old mistakes, you can learn from them. Instead of wounding your children, you can heal yourself.

In my parenting workshop Maria confessed that she spanked her child’s bare bottom; then she saw her red handprint and heard the heartbreaking sobs. It stunned her. She signed up for my class and bought my book, The Winning Family, to learn better ways to discipline her youngsters. That event helped change her parenting style and her life.

Childhood wounds propel us to be positive parents. Positive parenting practices, such as teaching, comforting, uplifting and playing, have great benefits for your family. Good parenting promotes positive connections. It also can prevent unwanted negative behaviors.

Raising children gives you an opportunity to create more joy and love in your life. It also gives you the chance to develop desirable personal qualities (such as patience), to understand and appreciate yourself at deeper levels, and to learn new skills. Your children may become your best teachers.

Changing family patterns is hard work. It takes courage and commitment. It is the work of heroes. Doing better for your kids is a personal triumph. You will thank yourself knowing that you have saved them from pain. I continue to reap the benefits many years later and enjoy loving connections with my grown children and my grandchildren. One of my greatest joys in my life is seeing the positive parenting patterns I initiated continue into the next generation.

Sign up for her free Positive Parenting Newsletter at http://www.drlouisehart.com.

Louise Hart is a community educator, and author of two books. The Winning Family and On the Wings of Self-Esteem have been translated into half a dozen languages. A professional speaker, she currently teaches Positive Psychology as it applies to parenting. Dr. Hart has a Doctorate of Education in Community Psychology, which deals with the relationships of the individual to family, communities and the wider society.

Copyright 2010 Dr. Louise Hart is a Community Psychologist, author, and Grandmother.

It’s summer and the kids are excited, no school… you’re a bit overwhelmed thinking how am I ever going to keep them busy and out of trouble? Of course there are sports, video games, hikes, but the weather isn’t always cooperative and there are 24 hours in each of those three months of summer.

A great activity for summertime is crafts. Crafts are great, not only because they are fun and can be very inexpensive, but craft projects have been proven time and again to be one of the best activities for quality interaction between parents and children. Crafting is a great way to stimulate your children’s imagination while spending some great family time. If you have never tried crafting with your family, then you will be proud by how readily your children take to these creative projects.

Many of the major craft stores have great summer craft classes and most of them are free. Check with local stores, community recreation centers and other parenting resources to discover what is available.

Here are just a few of the numerous benefits that your children will take away from your crafting time together:

1. Increased Self Esteem: Children develop self-esteem and pride from working on projects with their “adult” helpers.
2. A Boost in Creativity: Craft projects develop creativity, along with the ability to think and problem solve. Kids will dream up new thoughts, ideas and even methods of creating original projects.
3. Develop Patience and Perseverance: Craft projects teach persistence and the ability to systematically and logically work a project through to completion. There are all skills that will prove invaluable later in life!
4. Making Memories: Most importantly, family crafting is amazing fun. Your time spent crafting with your children will create priceless family time and memories.

On the topic of making memories, there are many great summertime family craft projects you can do with your children to preserve summer memories.

A few great ideas for preserving your summer memories include:

1. Collecting: Save everything, ticket stubs, cards from restaurants you visit, the brochure from a museum, and of course, some pictures from your trip. A favorite project for me is to take these collected items, decopage them onto a board and then make a picture frame using anything from wine corks, to sea shells, or even decopaged mat board. This has an eco-element to crafting too teaching kids to creatively reuse and repurpose seemingly throw away items. Consider giving each child a page in the scrapbook with their designs that depict their summer vacation….think Picasso…it doesn’t have to look like what is depicts!
2. Journal Activities: Have your children journal about their summer days. If they are too young to journal themselves, you can have them tell you about their day and you can write it for them. They can also add photos or drawings to illustrate their day.
3. Go on a Nature Walk: You can take photos or draw pictures of the beauty you see. Then you can do everything from making scrapbook pictures to making birthday and thank you cards to keep on hand.
4. Make a Family summer Vacation Scrapbook: Give each child a page in the scrapbook with their designs that depict their summer vacation….think Picasso.. it doesn’t have to look like what is depicts!
5. Make a Family Time Capsule: This is a tried and true memory preservation idea. You can use most anything as the “capsule.” Even an old shoe box can work. Have each member of the family choose something to put in the capsule. It can be a journal, a DVD, photos, a toy, or other items. Also, have everyone write a note or draw a picture and put it in the capsule. Then let your children tape and decorate the box so it will be until the determined opening date! Finally put it away in the back of a closet, the attic or even bury it in the back yard.

As you begin to craft and create regularly you will see that your children will grow more confident with their own creativity. They will look forward to spending this special time with the family. The best benefit is that you will be making new memories as you are preserving old ones!

About the Author:

Sandy Sandler is founder of non-profit Crafters 4 Kids and creator of the QVC best-seller, the Bowdabra. Her frugal craft projects and activity ideas are designed to transform the creatively-challenged into creative pros. Sandy’s focus is on creative and easy projects that parents can do with their kids and that kids can even do on their own that are both frugal and green in nature. Crafters 4 Kids focuses on projects that can be done under 5 minutes and under $5. Visit www.C4K555.org. Contact Sandy at jaimevivre@mac.com.

Michael L. Bishop, M.B.A., Ph.D.

Executive Director, Wellspring

Studies show nearly 90% of overweight teens become obese adults, bringing a heightened risk of medical, social, emotional, and financial complications. If your child has a weight issue, you may have already noticed the emotional impact: lower self-esteem, little motivation, social isolation, perhaps behavioral issues in school or at home. Studies have shown that overweight children are less likely to attend or graduate from college, and more likely to occupy a lower socioeconomic status as adults.

As Executive Director at Wellspring, the leading provider of effective, scientifically based treatment for obese and overweight adolescents and young adults, I can personally attest to the level of resistance some parents feel when it comes to discussing a weight issues with their child. Parents feel that their child will become defensive and that broaching the subject will only cause a divide in an already stressed relationship.

In these situations, it’s the role of the parent to make the right decision for the child’s health. We advise parents to sit down with their child and explain the decision:

“Honey, I care about you so much. Nothing is more important to me than your health, and that’s why we’ve made the decision to seek treatment for your weight.”

In nearly 100% of these cases, once child begins treatment in an emotionally-safe environment where they are not being judged based on their weight, the resistance or reluctance lessens and eventually disappears.

A parallel can be made with another serious health problem such as cancer. If your child had cancer, would getting treatment be up for discussion or would you insist they are treated with the most advanced methods available?

A recent study by The Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) confirms that obesity can shorten life spans on average by up to 20 years, depending on factors such as gender, age and race. In fact the Centers for Disease Control now lists obesity as paralleling smoking as the number 1 cause of preventable death in the United States. Certainly if you child decided to light up a cigarette in your living room this would not be up for discussion. Being obese while living in your home under your care should not be up for discussion either.

Parents today need to be proactive about their child’s health both at school and at home. You can teach your children healthy lifestyle skills utilizing these two basic concepts: 1) reduce your caloric intake and 2) increase your daily physical activity.

Wellspring recommends 10,000 steps each day using a pedometer to track your activity. Pedometers are inexpensive, and this is an easily calculated and measurable goal. Using a pedometer the entire family can participate in many different sports and activities in order to reach your daily goal of 10,000 steps.

Activities can include a daily walk around the neighborhood after school or work, walking the dog in the morning, a family game of basketball or baseball, or even just throwing a ball back and forth in the front yard. Anything a family can do together that requires taking steps can be beneficial. The important thing is that activity is tracked and that 10,000 steps are completed each day, even when you don’t feel like it.

Parents can role model healthy lifestyles for their children by involving them with each step of the food preparation process. For example, parents can involve their children in planning healthy, well balanced meals. Going to the grocery store with your child can be an educational opportunity if you ask your child to read the food labels and choose foods with the lowest level of calories and fat. Avoiding impulse buys and sticking to planned meals can role model self control and the importance of a low calorie, low fat lifestyle for your kids.

If simple changes like taking 10,000 steps per day or making healthier food choices are not resulting in noticeable improvement, you should consider more intensive, effective, scientifically based programs depending on degree of need: a weight loss camp for moderate need or weight loss academies for greater needs for changes. At these specialized programs adolescents and teens learn how to control their weight in a supportive, nurturing atmosphere.

About The Author

Dr. Bishop is Executive Director of Wellspring, the leading provider of effective, scientifically based treatment for obese and overweight adolescents and young adults. Mike is a licensed psychologist specializing in behavioral change who has lost approximately 100 lbs on the Wellspring Plan.

Emma Jenner, child development, sleep and behavioral specialist

Founder, Emma’s Children www.emmaschildren.com

1. All children regardless of age must have their own passport. For further information go to http://travel.state.gov/passport/get/minors/minors_834.html
2. If someone other than the biological parents is traveling with a child they must carry a letter of authorization from the parents. This should state that you (the parents) give named person permission to travel with your child (child’s name) in and out of specified countries. Include a contact number where you can be reached at all times in the case of an emergency or any potential complications.
3. Check for vaccinations that may be required for the country to which you’re traveling. Remember to take the vaccination certificates with you to prevent refusal of entry upon arrival.
4. Buy a comprehensive health insurance plan that will cover everyone in your travel party whilst abroad in case of an emergency.
5. If you have any concerns about your child’s health (ear ache, sore throat) you should consult with Doctor before traveling. Children cannot travel with contagious diseases, for example: Chicken Pox.
6. If your child requires formula be sure to check with your airline and airport about their security regulations as each vary. Depending on their regulations in regards to taking milk through security you may need to take powered formula and buy bottled water once you’re through security.
7. Children over the age of two are required to have their own seat. Instead of traveling with bulky car seats there are now FAA approved harness style safety devices for children 22-44lbs.

Keeping your child happy and comfortable on the plane, please follow the tip that’s age appropriate for your child:

-Remember your child’s comfort blanket or favorite soft toy. Take an extra blanket, as it can get chilly.

-Buy new reading books, coloring books (Color Wonder is great) and toys that your child hasn’t seen. This will keep their interest longer and prevent them from getting bored.

- A Personal DVD player is a blessing to resort to when your child is beyond entertaining. The ‘Leapster’ by Leap Frog along with educational games is also a wonderful source of entertainment. For your fellow passengers please don’t forget headphones.

-The pressure during take-off and landing can really hurt a child’s ears, depending on the age make sure you have a drink or lollypop on hand. Sucking helps relieve the pressure.

-Always bring change of clothes incase of spills or an accident and if you have room throw in a spare top for yourself especially if traveling with a young baby.

-Ensure you have enough supplies; diapers, wipes, sippy cups or bottles. Bring plenty of snacks and or formula.

-Carry on Tylenol or Motrin (must be under 3.4oz/100ml), for the unexpected fever or teething pains etc.

-Understand it’s a lot to expect a child to sit still for any length of time. Allow them to stretch their legs by walking up and down the isle. This can also calm and soothe an unhappy younger child or baby.

Wishing you safe and happy travels!

About The Author

Emma Jenner, a child development and behavioral specialist, was raised in Oxford, England until the age of 12 then proceeded to live in various parts of the world including Germany and Cyprus before returning to England where she specialized in childcare at Salisbury College.

Emma first worked as a nursery school teacher. Her love of children, of all ages, led her to a career as a professional nanny and baby nurse for over a decade. During this time, Emma worked with a variety of high profile and celebrity families. An entrepreneur, Emma founded a sleep consulting business and a nanny-training academy in the Los Angeles area. She was also the star of the popular TLC series Take Home Nanny, where she worked closely with parents to give them the tools necessary to allow them to regain control of family chaos.

With an abundance of experience and proficiency in raising children and with a specialization in sleep training, Emma has recently launched Emma’s Children, a consulting service whose goal is to provide parents the tools they need to take care of their most valuable asset.

A fun-loving, busy individual, Emma believes in raising children with a firm, disciplined, yet loving and nurturing approach — one that insists on good manners and respect to and from all family members. She strives in her work to create harmony in the home by helping parents maintain a loving and nurturing environment.  Emma’s expertise has been broadcast on syndicated radio show as well as several parenting magazines.

Many families are struggling these days to make ends meet, and sometimes the first thing to go when faced with a tough financial situation is what food you’re putting on the table. What many families don’t realize is that you can eat healthy without breaking the bank.

Some food is cheap for a reason; it is made from the poorest quality ingredients and with an abundance of additives to cover up the poor quality and taste. Food is medicine. So if you take your health into account, processed food or fast food is not cheap at all – it leads to poor health which leads to higher medical bills.

We all want to feed our families good food, and it doesn’t have to stretch the budget to do so. Here are some words of advice:

• Although I advise that my patients eat organic as much as possible, you don’t have to buy everything organic to avoid pesticides – some fruits such as bananas and oranges have thick skin which keep pesticides out.
• Your local produce stand or farmer’s market can be a great source for healthy bargains. For the best deals, shop often and look for reduced produce or end-of-the-day specials.
• Instead of white pasta or white rice, go for for frozen vegetables with no additives. Cruise down the frozen food aisles, and you’ll find big bags of veggies at bargain prices – sometimes as little as $1 a bag.
• Slash your produce prices even further by growing your own vegetables and fruits. Like fresh herbs? Grow your favorites in small pots by the kitchen window, and take a snip whenever you need it.
• Beans and lentils, whether canned or dried, make nutritious, hearty soups, and can be a main course with the addition of fresh vegetables or rice.
• Although brown rice takes more time to cook than white rice, the nutritional payoff is well worth it. The same goes for pasta. Pasta, whole wheat variety, is quick and easy to prepare, and can be paired with veggies, meat, or a fresh salad. Have fun adding your own embellishments (mushrooms, spices, and herbs).
• Reserve a day for cooking – plan the week and even freeze food to be used later.
• Save your vegetable trimmings to make your own vegetable stock. Not only do you save money, but vegetable stock also makes a nutritious base for casseroles and soups.
• Capitalize on one-pot dishes, which generally save prep time and money, and often make great leftovers.

Saving money on grocery bills does not have to come with sacrificing our health. For more information, including healthy recipes and shopping lists from The Perfect 10 Diet, please visit www.perfect10diet.com.

About the Author

Dr. Michael Aziz is board certified in internal medicine and the founder of Midtown Integrative Medicine on Madison Avenue. Dr. Aziz is also an attending physician at St. Vincent’s Hospital, where he teaches residents and medical students. He is a member of the American College of Physicians and the American Society of Internal Medicine, and a fellow of the Royal Society of Medicine in the United Kingdom. Dr. Aziz has been a national and international speaker in front of many distinguished organizations including the American Academy of Anti-Aging Medicine, the leader in natural hormones replacement. He is the author of The Perfect 10 Diet.